Metropolitan Police officer who struck a woman with his metal baton at a 2009 G20 London protest cleared of wrongdoing.

The Verdict stinks. Sergeant Delroy Smellie used "reasonable" force with his baton to deal with lefties, according to fusty old Judge.

Vinnie Jones is such a messy eater he's left part of a hedgehog on his face for his new film "The Heavy" [yawn]

50-year-old Woman claims to be the reincarnation of Egyptian Queen Nefertiti

The woman, real name Nileen Namita, has gone through 53 separate plastic surgery procedures at a cost of $300,000 to not look like her.

FIRST SETTLERS ON MARS POSE NEXT TO SETTLEMENT POST

JEREMY KYLE WANTS YOU!

On-the-run debauchee hunted by Interpol for stealing Michelle Obama's "I luv Obama" Vinyl heart g-string from washing-line behind the WhiteHouse

Secret Service still scratching their heads at how panty-loving deviant got into the back garden undetected.

Bunny girl claims new fill record by having 6 men penetrate her at the same time

Three in the asshole, three in the vaginal hole

Channel 5 weathergirl attacked by giant cock, and then bizarrely cups some balls...Tiger Woods nowhere in sight

Joan Collins laments the lack of rugged Hollywood tough guyz. Says most stars today are so feminine they stick their own dick up their ass

Josyln James ain't no stupid fukwhore...she kept Tiger's texts!

Doing the Jason King

The bottled-blonde Muslim-convert suicide bomber wants Swedish cartoonist that mocked Allah to have sex with a 1000 virgins in paradise

Meet Jihad Jamie...the lady with two big fatwas on her chest




Meet the cartoonist, Lars Vilks, and the cartoon that led to him in danger of being smothered to death by Jihad Jamie's tits:-

Penis Banana Man with ginger afro indulges in a bit of banana sex

Squeaky cam4u

Take That singer loves midget sex, cheats on his wife with 10 of them

Gob on my helmet

Legendary London Brixton gang "Da Pussy" has a female kingpin called Buttplug!

Accordian Boobs

Thigh tapping - the new craze sweeping beds across the Americas

The Art of Reading is still alive and kicking!

Stefani Germanotta's an avowed celibate these days, but she doesn't mind the odd dildo in between shows

Daryl Hannah's arse is no "Closed Book." Tom Conti's going blind for all the right reasons.