Edward Nino Hernandez is Ronaldo's Russian girlfriend's new best friend

Irina Shayk puts the little fella in her handbag and finds him better to use than her Lady Finger Ivory Vibe.

Melissa's friend Tiffany says hi too!

Chelsea Charms: The Package: short video

Danni Minogue and her English boyfriend get frisky at Florida airport

No-one else in the airport seemed to take any notice of the tiny Australian and her English cock provider's unusual mating ritual that led to full penetrative sex at the check-in desks.

US woman from Queens claims to have bedded 32,344 men in her life

Remarkably, her "vagine" doesn't resemble "sleeve of wizard," to quote Borat.

Elton John: I love the smell of [David in soiled] nappies

That's Diapers in Americanspeak.

I couldn't make this up. German man has his cock tattooed with "Mini"

Das Man has eine bigge Willy fur den Mini.

A fan sent this in. Thanks Melissa, I love your bathroom lights!

Walking Poodle-pup called "Marion" is THE new best friend of Cordozar Calvin Broadus (Snoop Dogg)

Going to do a duet together, called: "Can smoke dis spliff togetha"

BBC antiques expert, the dashingly suave Tim Wonnacott, accused of four-in-a-bed romp with an antique oliver typewriter, a highboy and a tiffany vase

Tom Cruise to change his surname to Thumb

Mrs Cruise isn't so keen.

Chelsea Charms, who has a 153 XXX bust size, vows to suckle kids for the whole of Africa

A FIRST FOR EARTH: UK's SKY News trials a humanoid alien newsreader from the Lyra Star system

No-one's panicking yet, and her English is impeccable.

Exclusive photo of 74 year-old Italian PM Silvio Berlusconi probing teenage Morrocan nightclub dancer called "Ruby"

Meanwhile, Italian police are probing Mr Berlusconi over allegations of underage prostitution and abuses of power.

McSpinks Gang wanted for botched Snooki kidnap

Snooki escaped from the gang's Chevrolet after it broke down on a busy highway.

Hordes of young white girls team up to protect themselves from being sexually exploited by men of Pakistani origin in the UK

It comes after UK men of Pakistani origin were locked up for rapes on white girls between 12 and 16.

Quentin Tarantino to remake 1956 western "Bandido" that starred Robert Mitchum

Porn star Jella Nips stars as Lisa Kennedy

Missing Oregon boys found...fused into part of a brick wall

Police still scratching their heads as to how this could happen.

Media whore Katie Price leaves husband Alex Reid for the charms of 80s star, Roland Rat

Katie already pregnant with his pups, claims the grey Rodent.

All she wanted for Christmas was her two front teeth....

No wonder she keeps her mouth closed.

Man-blob weds Thomaz the teddy bear

Leo Sayer was best man.

Jen, codename 1978hotlips, advertises her wares on www.polizeibook.com

Brazilian woman who has a bizarre chocolate "mania" is willing to give it all up for a fully working Pac-Man arcade machine