2011 AD...JUST ANOTHER MAN-MADE YEAR IN THE INFINITY OF SPACE

STOP PRESS! Celebrity Chef Gordon Ramsey has brain removed and transplanted with banoffee pie after he loses Bet with Jamie Oliver

Ramsey said to be recovering well.

White women who have an overwhelming liking for da black meat sexualized rabbits ears as youngsters, according to new research from Yale University

Amsterdam woman loses her hand down (man) hole....

Bizarre alien transmission interrupts Christmas weather forecast on British tv

Caprice Bourret shows off her latest toyboy on holiday in the Caribeann, Edward Nino Hernandez

Who would love to be a fly on the wall in their holiday room...

Cruz Beckham in hot water as he tries to kick Cameron Diaz on the ass

Hollywood set to remake the Adams Family

Is this the most perfect example of symmetry in the universe?

Aussie fuckhead ex-Cricketer Shane Warne claims Elizabeth Hurley has nipples made of steel on his blog

And her vagina has metallic teeth too. He's got the scars on the shaft of his penis to prove it.

Yuletide Greetings!

Victoria Beckham WOWs the fashionistas with her brand new tee-shirt. Preorders top 5 million.

UK X-Factor: Christina Aguilera uses massive dildo on one of her dancers as they perform song in front of 17 million Brit fucks on tv

Many in the audience were children watching with their parents.

KID: Daddy, what's that in Christina's hand?
DAD: A miniature walking stick, darling.

KID2: Why are the women bending over like that, mummy?
MUMMY: They all have bad backs, luvie.

New Kids on the Block are back on tour, sporting a new look

WASHINGTON: Panic descends when a decapitated ghostly head mysteriously floats above Christmas Tree as it is ceremonially lit at the White House

The Obama family look on in amazement as FBI calls in the Ghostbusters.

NEWSFLASH: Miracle in London as Churchill's statue shits on student protestors who defaced his pedestal

Astra from Stockholm shows off her pet hedgehog

England's Rhian Sugden zipped up

To unzip her, you'd either have to be a multi-millionaire footballer or Paul McKenna, the hypnotist.

Pet Budgie loves its Aussie owner's tools so much that sometimes it leaves droppings on her boobs

Presenter James Naughtie's slip of the tongue on BBC Radio 4

All the world's a cunt, and I'm its biggest cuntface.

21st Century Fox presents: A Californian Girl and her great pair....

...of ducks. "Ducky-girl" opens Christmas Day at selected cinemas.

Cretins of Face Party...meet sjg7

WANTED: For shattering reality as we know it

Daft woman in UK dials emergency services to report a stolen snowman

She told Kent police that she needed the police's involvement because she used pound coins for eyes.

Jennifer Lopez flashes her genitals from a scooter -- exclusive picture

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley's lips stuck in a permanent lockjawed pout after blowing boyfriend Jason Statham's cock for 24 hours straight

German bombshell shows off her pet squirrel