JOKE OF THE WEEK: Carol Bartz, Yahoo's $47-million a year CEO, offers Google some business advice

Faceparty "spazling" sent out into space without Oxygen. Remarkably she survives, only because she's brain-dead in the first place

Walt Mossberg interviews...

John Cleese's new 39-year-old bondage-mistress girlfriend,Jennifer Wade, takes him for a walk, minus his gimp mask

25-year-old Olivia "Iron Maiden" Boeree, 25, who has an astrophysics degree, wins a cool £1 million in European Poker Tour competition

SOME MOTHERS DO 'AVE 'EM...

Spot the prick.

Supermodel bunny now [currently] munching on English banger

Alyx getting a 20,000 polygon crotch for Half Life Episode 3

Princess Beatrice starts new fashion in pink fanny slip dress

THIS MORNING Presenter Holly Willoughby's racy photographs hit the net. Co-Host Philip Schofield demands her sacking, or a blowjob Live on air

SPOT THE HONKY. Electioneering British PM is heard using ghetto vernacular

"Yo nigga! Who's my homey!" One Person raises his hand, except he's too young to vote.

GAY ICONS JIMMY SOMERVILLE AND MARC ALMOND SING A DUET TOGETHER. THE SONG "NEVER A BUM" ALREADY HURTLING UP CHARTS. FANS REJOICE!

Sister Gisella looks at photos of herself as a 18-year-old prostitute in war-ravaged Italy who regularly serviced American GIs

Walrus-woman squashes bearded man during an extreme Twister session while his friend comes to the rescue with a fierce rearguard action

Patsy Kensit ditches fourth husband. Her current beau, 80s star Roland Rat, says she gives great tail-jobs

The ass of US tv celebrity whore Kim Kardashian to be used as a bouncy castle substitute by the under fives Great Yarmouth toddler group in UK

British National Party Number 2 arrested for plotting to shoot a load into Nick Griffin

British celebrity whore Jordan AKA Katie Price has a butt-plug inserted LIVE on her ITV reality programme

First photo of LoveButt and CurlyB, the youngest UK gay couple to elope, hits the net

Swedish Living Doll will set you back only $6,000 and comes with three responsive holes!

• The texture of the skin is similar to 99.8% of the human skin apparently. Cold in the winter though so needs to be warmed up either in Sun or with a hairdryer.

• Completely adjustable to any position you want.

• 100 sensors spread around the body.

• 30 sensors on the private parts. On penetration she emits a light gentle sound that echoes gently in your ears.When there is any type of pulsation sensed in her private parts she emits light moans of stimulation.Above all that she gets wet with a slight touch over any of the sensors.
  

• She has three entries (vaginal , anal, and oral);

• She can move her head in any direction you choose.

• Completely customizable to your liking so you can choose the following: SIZE, HEIGHT, SKIN COLOUR, EYES COLOUR and HAIR COLOUR
  

Homes under the Hammer presenter still likes a milkshake between takes

Dope camps out on edge of road near shop to buy first iPad in New York. Why not pre-order or steal it off the neighbor, passers-by tell him?

Vinnie Jones just can't stop making crap