MEGAN FOX FINALLY SHOWS THE WORLD HER JOCKSTRAP

Prima proves to be the intellectual powerhouse in her interview with Rio Ferdinando

Viewers shocked by sexual antics on UK's Daybreak Show as presenter Kate Garraway gives her co-host a guzzle live on the air

Her co-host needs to keep off the chocolate. And gobbler extraordinare, Kate Garraway, should learn to control herself, says tv watchdog 4hore.

Dopey Iowa man duped by radio station into getting their KORB logo inked across his forehead after being offered $$$$$

Practical jokers at radio station unrepentant.

Hooker Irma Nici claims David Beckham has three balls (and one's not a football)

MR ED elected as new British Labour Party leader

Mr Ed's brother, David, will shovel shit for him from his stable.

Aussie Geek has egg on his face spelt hypocrite

SHARON OSBOURNE'S NEW LOOK GETS MEN HOT UNDER THE COLLAR

UPDATED: Machete: Digital artists remove Alba's pants and knickers to trick audience that she's actually in the buff

Direct quote from Mel Gibson: "I hope she's raped by a pack of niggaz for this." We obviously do not agree...Just one black person will suffice.

Woman at restaurant finds something unusual in her soup and complains by getting her tit out

Another veggie theme...King Dong reincarnated as a giant cucumber

Daughter of pensioner grower loves fondling its length.

TRUE STORY: Hampshire police force in England release 'lettuce' e-fit of suspect

Burglar in question looks like a man wearing a lettuce.

UPDATED: Unemployed, feckless British man has 15 children by 14 different chav women

It's been forecast that these chav cunts will cost the UK taxpayer £2 million by the time the kids are 17.

Catty licious is back, wanting man-goo as usual

Chewbacca finally meets his idol, Sue Barker

Hairy interspecies sex guaranteed.

Bedhopping Lothario releases new book about his conquests and would-be lovers

No idea who this guy is, but received this promo poster from the PR department of Octopuss books today.

Prima and Aussie Geek talk sports

Goof-cook Jamie Oliver defies his family's wishes and calls his new-born son Pukka

Overruled his wife, who wanted the baby to be named "Crunty".

PRINCE OF PERSIA ACTRESS GEMMA ATHERTON COMPLAINS THAT HOLLYWOOD TREATS HER AS A PIECE OF ASS

Shouldn't wear hotpants then for your new film, cunt.

NEWS FLASH: FORGET THE WAR ON TERROR, THIS IS EVEN BIGGER NEWS THAN THAT!

World's smallest man turns up in couple's photo

Tying your balls in a knot

Married Filthy Fucker Julie will have you...as long as you do her using the missionary position!

Paris Hilton releases new single, fucky chicken

The sound of sex: part 2. The couple that can reproduce the melodies of the fandango trumpet!

Prima Hooligan loves cybermen. Aussie Geek doesn't.

Woman blows a flesh trumpet and the sound produced is out of this world!

Swiss Premier's daughter sends personal photo to Nelson Mandela by mistake

Mr Mandela said to be recovering well in hospital

Victoria Beckham, setting trends again, lands at Heathrow Airport

Meet Roseanne, the cuddly filthyfucker from Hampshire

FACEBOOK PROFILE PHOTO CAPTION COMPETITION

Congrats to Anna Wankalov for sending this in. A piece of Prince Charles's pubic hair is on its way to you today!

World's shortest man, Edward Nino Hernandez , 22 inches tall, almost mauled by rampaging giant kitten

Hernandez had hidden watergun to see the critter off.

Another day, another footballer caught cheating on his wife

You need your eyes testing, Rooney, but give her one from me Wayne!

Eye to Crotch: Aussie geek knows what he likes

Mullah-dullah "government" in Iran commute adulterous woman's punishment from a stoning to death to a public lashing and 99 of the best

SELF-DELUDED CUNTS IN A [, LIKE, TINY] WORLD OF THEIR OWN

Gastric bands await the fatty twosome so they can try again next year.

Prima presses Aussie Geek on the current state of the female sex...

"Barrack Obama" means Blessed Bender in English

Don't tell Larry Sinclair.

Cheryl Cole reveals new member of her group

Whores set new world record for most blowjobs in a day at blowjobathon in Las Vegas

They sucked the house down!

Aussie geek's one-eyed snake not welcome in Prima Hooligan's world

Prima & the Aussie Geek discuss animal rights

Married UK Foreign Secretary, William Hague, quashes rumours that he's gay...

He's NOT having an affair with his "special" advisor, 25.